Trips To Hell
by starglow71
Summary: AU. Both Sam and Dean have been to Hell and left the other trying to find a way to get each other back. What if they had found a way each time to do just that? How would that have played out? Warning: Wincest! Schmoop, and Language at times.
1. Sam Saves Dean

**Disclaimer: I do not own supernatural or any of its characters or the actors that play them.**

** Please don't read if you don't like Wincest, I don't want to offend anyone.**

**Warning**: Wincest, schmoop, and some language!**(There is a happy ending to this story!)**

Plot: Sam and Dean have both been to Hell , now what would have happened if they could have saved each other the way they wanted to? How would they have done that?

xxxxxxxxx

**Trips to Hell Pt. 1**

Sam's turn:

Sam worked his way through Hell, the sulfur burning his lungs and nose. He stabbed another Demon and felt Hell pulling at his blood. Bobby had warned him not to stay long as he waited for him at the door, holding it shut with Ellen and Jo, that it would start to change him as soon as he got there but if he stayed only a little while then he would only have to change a little.

"But what do you mean, 'change a little'?" Sam remembered asking as they planned this out back at the house.

"You would definitely not be all human anymore, son, but you wouldn't be all demonic either. Not sure the ratio on that but figure probably relates to how long you stay there. You stay an hour, maybe two, you may only change a year in that time, at least that's what the last demon we interrogated said. He could have lied, you know." Bobby had said and looked sad.

"I have to try, Bobby. I can't leave him there, I can't. He's been there three days! I know that's a while for him, too." Sam sighed, hugging his surrogate father, "You'd still love me, even if I come back…well, partially demon?" He had to save Dean but he didn't want to lose Bobby either. "I'd still be me. You know Dean is probably partially demonic by now, too, right?"

"I know, son, just want him back, he don't belong there. So we'll help you get him, and I don't care; I know you'll be part demon when you come back, both of you, but you'll still be my sons, and you won't be in Hell anymore, either of you." Bobby had sighed and hugged him, kissing his cheek, "Love you both, that will never change, even with black eyes and shit."

"What about our…feelings…well, for each other? I saw them there before he died and he admitted them right before…" Sam closed his eyes and shivered at the memory of the hellhound ripping his brother's chest open and almost cried again. "What if he forgot me, or them? What if he didn't? Could you handle that…between us? I don't care if he feels that still…I just want him back! I'll just be his brother. I just can't leave him there, Bobby."

"We know, Sam, we can't either." Bobby had nodded in agreement and Ellen came back in the rooms, wiping blood from her hands.

"Got the body fixed up for ya. Stitched and good as new, just needs a driver." Ellen said, coming up and kissing Sam's wet cheek. "You go get that boy, Sam. His body's ready."

Sam and the others had loaded a horse trailer to Bobby's car and laid Dean carefully down on mattress inside there, securing both the mattress and the body so they wouldn't slide around and injure Dean's body any more than it already was. Sam had leaned in tenderly and kissed Dean, eyes wet with tears of loss and pain, tears falling and sitting on that freckled skin below him. "I'll get you back, Dean, no matter what it takes, I'll get you back."

Then they had used the colt to open the gate and Sam had taken the colt and the knife he had stolen from a demon bitch that had been following him lately. He had used it to kill her earlier then had formed this 'brilliant' plan.

Now, as he fought his way through Hell, his blood boiled inside him but he kept looking at his watch, it had been half an hour so he was okay. He followed the dead demon's instructions they had written down and soon found himself in a room, a room built for torture. He cringed as he saw a double of himself, stabbing a blade of some sort into Dean, and his brother's confused and pain-filled eyes stayed on the creature, pleading why he was doing this to him.

Sam had seen enough. He leveled the gun at the thing that was pretending to be him and decided to wait to shoot the son of a bitch. He had to make Dean see it wasn't him hurting him, but a demon or Dean would cringe away from him for the rest of their lives. Sam put the gun to its head and hissed, "Change back, you sick fuck, and back away from him." The thing backed up and Sam tapped the colt with the knife's edge. "Yeah, this is _that_ demon killing gun. I will splatter your brains on the ground right now if you don't change back to whoever you are!" Sam cut one of Dean's hands free and handed the shaking man the knife, and went back to threatening the demon.

"But you…there's two of you…you were…but how?" Dean said confused and eyes full of tears now.

"Not me, a demon using my face." Sam explained and grinned as Alastair's face formed and he was no longer Sam anymore. "See, Dean, I would never hurt you, might make love to you on that table over there…" He eyes the metal table and smiled teasingly at his now smiling brother, relief on his face now, all fear gone, and added, "but I'd kill anyone who hurt you, Dean. Starting with this piece of crap."

Dean took the gun from him and shook his head, touching Sam's arm, marveling at him being real, really here! "No, Sam, I want to do this." Dean looked up into Sam's eyes and smiled, "I have to do this, Sammy, or I will always fear this, _please_ let me?"

Sam nodded and let Dean take the gun, and watched him pull the trigger. Alastair exploded into bloody chunks and they were covered in them now. Dean handed him the knife but kept the gun.

"Let's get out of here." Dean said, going back to back with his brother now, demon around them but giving them wide berth now, clearly afraid and angry now. "How'd you get here?"

"Devil's Gate, remember? Bobby and Ellen are holding it cracked for us. It's up ahead, go to the light up there." Sam said as his eyes swept the demons menacingly, Dean's did the same, eyes flicking everywhere, on high alert. "We have to talk when we get out of here, Dean." Sam said and growled as a demon tried to come closer.

"Yeah, we do." Dean agreed, and smiled. "You're eyes, they're filled in hazel, Sam, you have no pupil or anything, did you know that? It's how I could tell you and that demon apart."

"No, I didn't, expected that though, souls change as soon as they get down here. Yours are Jade green, no pupil or anything either." Sam told him but smiled as he slashed at a demon, making it back off and hiss as he cut its hand. "Such pretty eyes you have that way! They should be normal once we get topside."

They watched as the demons backed off and retreated now, leaving them standing there alone now. They scanned for traps or ambushes but saw none, the demons had fled for now.

"So we're…" Dean tried to figure it out as they ran for the light sliver up ahead.

"Part demonic, not sure how much. Bobby said we wouldn't be full demon, we haven't been here that long. Still my…" Sam almost said brother but tasted the lie. What he felt was not brotherly nor was what Dean had admitted to feeling before he'd…died. Sam's heart hurt at the memory of his brother's bleeding and dead in his arms, so lifeless and just…gone. Sam had felt so alone then, without Dean, he always felt alone. "Still love you. Don't know what we are. Guess that's part of what we have to talk about."

"Love you, too. We'll talk later, promise. Just you and me." Dean promised and had to ask, "You still feel …that way …about me?"

"Yeah." Sam admitted, taking the chance and being honest here. "Yeah, I still do. You can go if you need time away from me but I just had to make sure you were okay. A world without you in it…well, it's no world I can live in."

"Same here, Sammy." Then he chuckled as they flew through the gate and helped hold it shut while Sam locked it with the gun barrel again. Then they were in each other's arms crying and holding onto each other, smelling like smoke and sulfur but not caring and too afraid to let go of each other for fear it was a dream.

Then they reluctantly let go of each other and Dean hugged Bobby and Ellen, who held him tightly, crying too. The Hunters watched as both boys eyes went from solid hazel and solid green to their normal human looking hazel and green again.

"Christo!" Bobby tested and jumped as their eyes changed for a bare second but stayed the same most of the time. Yes, partially demonic, maybe a quarter. "Got any powers there we need to know about, Sam? Dean? No surprises?"

Sam shrugged and put out a hand to a headstone which immediately floating and he dropped it in surprise. 'Wow, bro, that was so cool. Watch me do it.' Sounded in his head and Sam jumped, looking at the others. "Don't suppose you heard that, did you?" He looked worried and so did Dean now. Dean had just been thinking that had been cool and Sam had heard it?

"Didn't hear a thing. What did you hear?" Ellen asked glancing from one boy to the other, curiously.

"Dean just said that was cool. It felt like it was in here." Sam tapped his temple, "You didn't hear him?"

"No, not a word. I'd say you got some telepathy in there now, both of you. Can you hear my thoughts?" Bobby asked and Sam concentrated, but heard nothing, got nothing from the man or Ellen.

"No, just him." Sam admitted then looked at Dean," Can you hear me?" He had been thinking thoughts they would discuss later, damn it!

"Yes, Sam, every word." Dean said softly, tugging them to the trailer and pulling the door shut behind them. "Just drive, Bobby, we need to talk. Knock when we're home, okay?"

"Sure thing, son. You guys hash this out." Bobby said and headed to the car after locking the door, smiling widely. His sons were okay and his heart felt lighter now, he ran back to the trailer and peaked in, surprised. Dean was there, cut up and scarred, sitting with Sam on the mattress, looking at the floor. "What about your...? Your body?" He was confused.

"I was able to stay corporeal long enough to get back to my body, Bobby. I was reabsorbed into it just now. Not to worry, I have my body back now." Dean smiled, touching the stitched mess on his chest in sadness; Sam pulled his hand away and kissed it.

"You are fine, Dean, it's just another scar. I don't care how it looks on you, I'm just glad to have you back." Sam reassured him and Dean looked at Bobby now.

"Does it bother you, the…" Dean motioned to the healing mess that was his chest. "My scars?" He bowed his head, used to be so proud of his body now he was…disfigured and …ugly. He touched his cheek where the other long marks were, more scars.

"You are you, the scars don't matter none. I've seen worse." Bobby reassured him and smiled, it wasn't his reassurance Dean needed and that was okay, too. Sam saw Dean's thoughts and pulled him close, crying and shaking his head at those thoughts, rocking them both gently.

"No, no, baby, no! Not going to reject you because of them. No, don't leave, it's okay, it's okay! Scars don't matter, could be a walking scar and I'd still love you, still want you, and never think you are repulsive! You are the most beautiful man I've ever known, still are, always will be. Love you in here, not for what's out there." Sam touched the bandages all over Dean's chest now. "Bobby loves you for what's inside too, Ellen, too. Not ugly, not in where it counts!" Sam pulled Dean in for a kiss, "Still love your body, don't give a damn about scars, still desire you, I'll never stop."

Bobby shut the door again as Dean returned the kiss hesitantly, smiling softly now. Bobby smiled now, too. Those boys would be okay, now that Dean was out of Hell. He pulled out of the cemetery soon after and turned up the music to hide the sounds coming from the trailer. He knew what they were doing; he didn't need to hear it.

Xxxxxxxxxxx

Sam pulled Dean down to the mattress, slowly undressing him then himself. He kissed Dean tenderly and Dean kissed him back that same way. "We don't have to do this, Dean. I mean if you want to…" He leaned up to give Dean a chance to decide, he had just got out of hell, even if their making love was screaming in the man's head, didn't mean he wanted to do it right now.

"No, I want this. I need this to take Hell away. I swore if I ever got out, we would do this. I mean to keep that promise, Sammy. I need to make you mine." Dean admitted pulling him down for a kiss then teased, "As far as what we're doing here? It's making love, not incest. Screw what the others say, you're all I want and if they don't like they can go sit and twist! I love you, Sammy." He kissed him again and Sam moaned softly, letting him be laid below Dean now, as Dean started at his neck and kissed down, sucking a mark into his neck, red and noticeable, marking the man as his and no one else's.

"All mine, no one else's ever again, baby. My lover and no one touches you or I'll kill them, I swear. Never leave me! Love you, been in love with you for years, Sam. All mine, I'm all yours." Dean said into Sam's skin as he teased his nipples and moved down to suck him, taking the head in his mouth, sucking him softly, making Sam writhe.

"Your's, Dean, I'm yours! Have you ever been with anyone…like me?" Sam asked, he had to know since after this he would belong to Dean, his body, his heart, his soul, all Dean's from now on.

"Yeah, a couple times when you were in college. They looked like you though, I guess just because I said you had to have your own life even it that life was without me and hunting, it didn't really apply to me personally. You were always the one I wanted, just you. Been so in love with you for years." Dean's eyes were wet now, so sad. "Was so hard without you. Wandered around, turned down women, and eventually ended up in a bar where there was this guy, tall, long haired, lean, broad shouldered, long fingers, lips like yours, hazel eyes, too. He bought me a drink and we…spent the night together. I let myself think he was you while we fucked…needed you but knew you probably never felt that way about me and Dad would have been so angry if he'd known, so I let myself think…he was you. It made it hurt less, then Dad walked in and then he left in disgust. His gay son and all, you know how he was. Probably why Dad and I separated soon after." Dean cried now and Sam held him, kissing the tears away. "I thought if I found him and showed him you and me, then he'd forgive me for being…a queer, you know. I never liked girls, not since you were 14, then all I saw was you, all I wanted was you. Felt so dirty and evil, repulsive and sick. Tried a shrink there for a bit, when you were 16 but that didn't help, I lied to her and stopped going eventually, couldn't shake these feelings."

He felt Sam sucking him hard now and moaned, "I'm gay, too, Dean." Sam admitted as he took turns stroking and sucking Dean, "Started with you, Jess was a shield, never loved her. Thought you would look at me differently if you knew. Had an affair with a professor at college; he even looked like you, too." He smiled softly now, "Have you noticed that we've with other men but they all have been _us_, even if they were someone else, they resembled you or me?"

Sam sucked him harder now, getting lost in it. He heard the door unlocking and threw a shoe at it, making the metal bang loudly. "Go away!" Dean shouted and put a hand on Sam's head, "Don't stop, baby. Feels so good to finally be with you this way!" Dean moaned this part softly, body arching. He soon made Sam stop and worked him open with spit lubed fingers, "Sorry, Sammy, no lube. I'll try not to hurt you."

Sam winced a little and smiled, "Not that bad, just feels like it did the first time I did this, been over a year or so since I've…well, done this. Not since college." Sam said and blushed.

"You mean the whole time we were traveling together, you never…hooked up on the side?" Dean said in surprise, Sam thrusting back on his fingers now, no longer burning, begging him to take him now.

"No." Sam moaned softly, "Only wanted you, felt like cheating whenever I was tempted to, so I …gah!, that feels so good, make love to me, Dean, please!...couldn't be with anyone else."

"Me either." Dean said and worked himself in until he was as deep as he could go and waited for Sam to let him know to move. Sam soon stopped whimpering and moaned deeply, pleasure and porn in that sound. Dean moved inside him now, going slow and deep then fast and shallow then just faster and deeper, their bodies desperately thrusting into and against each other now.

"Close…" Sam moaned finally, hands clawing at Dean's body now, their kisses hard and urgent, matching their bodies movements, Dean sucking on that mark on his brother's neck, biting it, and kissing down that sexy neck, finger pinching and rolling those nipples as his hands grabbed Sam's hips and legs and pinned them to him over and over, leaving bruises but neither feeling them at the moment. "Cumming, baby, please…cum with me! Fill me…oh, baby so good…claim me as yours forever, Dean! Damn, Dean, now…can't…cumming…" Sam felt his orgasm hit him and pour onto Dean, whose hand stroked Sam between them as they kissed harder, both cumming together and Dean poured his claim into his brother, filling him with his cum, and making him his forever.

They cuddled afterward, bruised and sore but also pleasantly buzzing in their heads and bodies.

"I get to make love to you later, right, Dean?" Sam asked hesitantly, Dean was a top, but so was Sam, so maybe they could take turns being bottoms?

"Tonight, Sammy, promise. Just let me recover here. You wore me out, baby." Dean said but pulled him in for a kiss anyway, "Love you, Sammy. I'm yours. All yours, baby boy."

"And I'm yours." Sam sighed and they fell asleep that way. Later Bobby checked on them, several hours into the drive and he hadn't heard anything for a while, he had been worried. He covered them with a blanket and put the food into a hanging mesh bag by the sleeping men. He smiled down at them and left, relocking the door and letting Ellen drive now, taking a nap, too.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxx


	2. Dean Saves Sam

**Disclaimer: I do not own supernatural or any of its characters or the actors that play them.**

** Please don't read if you don't like Wincest, I don't want to offend anyone.**

**Warning**: Wincest, schmoop, and some language!**(There is a happy ending to this story!)**

Plot: Sam and Dean have both been to Hell , now what would have happened if they could have saved each other the way they wanted to? How would they have done that?

xxxxxxxxxx

**Trips to Hell Pt. 2**

Dean's Turn:

Dean was thinking of Bela, the bitch! She had hid the colt well, but not good enough. He took out the rings and tossed them to ground of the panic room, Bobby and Ellen watched, worried. The cage opened and the wind blew, and Dean jumped in, demon knife and colt firmly in his grasp. Dean's eyes were solid green, demonic eyes. He let his demon out as he jumped. He fought stronger as the demon, its strength was that of five normal demons since the Winchester demons were different. They were Uber; faster healing, more powerful, and stronger than the others.

Sam had said yes to Lucifer and had taken Adam with him into the cage, no more than an hour ago. He had thrown the key to cage to Dean as he stepped backward, "I'll be waiting for you, Dean. I know you'll come for me, baby. Love you forever!" Sam had said this; right before Michael had lunged at him, going with him…to Hell…again.

Castiel agreed to go with Dean, and Gabriel joined them, fully reformed now. The angels had already went in and Dean was following their mental leads in his head, scouring for Sam's frequency.

'Over here, Dean. We found him. Hurry!" Gabriel called mentally and Dean ran, and found himself in a frozen room where a dark figure was doing something to small light ball, Adam lay nearby and Castiel was burning up Michael with his own blade. Dean pulled the colt level with the figure that turned in surprise, and he fired. The being screamed as it flickered and burned, arching in pain then turned to ash at his feet. He went to the ball of light and felt Sam, Sam's love for him in it, and held it, looking for its body. Gabriel approached him with Cas, holding Sam up between them, bleeding and unconscious, but alive. He pushed the soul back in and Sam awoke with a gasp, looking around in fear.

The rescuers smelled of smoke and sulfur but they were here, saving Sam this time. Sam got away from the angels and ran into Dean's arms, kissing him hard. When the kiss ended, they noticed their eyes were different again, darker, closer to a black green and black hazel than the usual colors now, the whole eye once again colored, no iris or pupils in sight. They glowed slightly now but only a little, their blood and powers increasing again now that they had went to Hell…again. Three quarters demon now, they knew this and felt it.

The angels grabbed them all, including Adam, and flew up to the outside. They locked the cage again and lay Adam on the cot, trying to wake him up. The angels touched both him and Sam, healing their injuries instantly. "Adam, wake up, bro. Please wake up?" Dean urged and was rewarded with a pair of hazel eyes looking up at him in confusion.

"Yes, we got you guys out. It's okay, it's over! You're safe." Dean reassured Adam who cried into his shoulder now, and held out an arm for Sam and buried his head between theirs and cried some more, both boys cried with him now. They had almost lost their family and it hurt to think what would have happened if they hadn't got there in time.

"Free, no more angel?" Adam asked eventually.

They both nodded happily and he smiled sadly. "Can I stay here for a bit? I have nowhere to go. I just need to save up some money, get a job, and maybe find my own place." He looked at Bobby who chuckled and shook his head.

"No need for that, Adam, got a home right here with us. You got a job, too. You can help me research, work in the yard. Been needing help and they've been needing a brother. You can stay right here." Bobby reassured the teen, he was so like John, looked just like him. He had steel in him, like all Winchesters did.

"You don't mind us being more…demony, do you? It couldn't be helped, Hell does that to you." Sam asked nervously and watched Adam's eyes bleed to solid hazel, they grinned. Hell had changed him, too. A quarter demon, possibly, like they used to be.

"Nah, if what you say is true, that makes me part demon now, too, right?" Adam asked and they nodded.

"But mostly human, with some enhancements of course. I'd stay away from sports if I were you, that strength and speed will give you away and it could hurt someone." Sam said, knowing he still hadn't finished out his senior year in high school yet. "Speaking of which, we need to get you registered for school here tomorrow."

"Sam!" Adam whined, angsty teen once again but shut up and settled for glaring obstinately at the others who clearly weren't going to let him _not _go back and finish high school anytime soon. "I'm 18, I can quit if I want."

"No, you can't, young man." Bobby said and smiled gently, sitting down next to him now. "Look, it's only a month or two, we'll be here for you. There's even a junior college here, you can go there if you want. You can still help with research with us. You can have normal too. Find a girl or a guy, don't matter to me; go to college, be happy. Please don't throw that away." He took the youth's hand and sighed, "You Winchesters are my sons, I lost my wife and daughters a long time ago to demons but now I have you boys, all three of you. You'll be my son, too, Adam, like them. Let this be your home."

"You two are still a couple right, but brothers too?" He had just recently reunited with them and found out that not only were they part demon, but lovers too. "Not saying I don't want you in my life, just checking here."

"Yes, still your brothers and still in love with each other but not you, just a brotherly thing with you, Adam, promise!" Sam reassured Adam who nodded grinning.

"I'm fine with that. I could use a brother…or two." Adam said hugging them and letting them stand him up.

"Good, cause you aren't ever getting rid of us, demon boy." Dean said and added, "Come see your room, we decorated it for you." He smiled shyly now, "Hope it's okay, not good at that stuff but tried to make it suit your tastes."

"I can't wait to see it." Adam smiled and they now ran up the stairs noisily and Bobby could have sworn those demon boys were trying to destroy his house.

"No running in the house!" Bobby shouted and three heads peeked around the basement doorway, looking embarrassed.

"Sorry, Bobby!" They said in unison and he grinned happily at them. They hurried upstairs now, careful not to run in the house.

Bobby hugged Ellen and Jo to him, eying the floor. "You sure that thing won't open again?" He asked the angels this and they nodded, handing him the rings. Death walked in and said dryly now, "I'd like my ring back now." Bobby jumped at the gaunt man's sudden appearance then paused, handing him all of them.

"You keep them. You should be their guardian anyway, if you want to. We don't need them." Bobby said and Death nodded, pocketing the rings and walking away.

"Thank you, Bobby Singer." Death said , then turned and smiled, they all jumped again, Death never smiled and that had definitely _not_ been said sarcastically, Death had thanked him. "I like you, Bobby Singer. I'll be watching you." Then vanished from sight.

Bobby _definitely_ didn't like the sound of that. Death, watching him? Wow, he was scared of that concept.

They shrugged and headed up the stairs to start dinner. It was almost Adam's bedtime and they had errands to run tomorrow, starting with school supplies and registering him for school.

In the meantime, Adam admired his room and lay on his bed laughing. "I love it, it's perfect." There was a devil's trap over his bed, salt by his door, and symbols carved in his doorway and windows, but they didn't affect any of the Winchesters. He had to know why.

"Not fully demon. We can feel the power from the traps and such, and the salt burns slightly. Holy water does nothing to us and the demon knife doesn't kill us. It should be the same for you, too." Sam explained and Adam breathed a sigh of relief. "Thanks for staying, Adam. We would really like the chance to be your brothers, for real this time." Sam's eyes were normal now. Dean's too; which Adam figured meant his were too. Intense emotions, like anger and such brought out the eyes, also using powers brought them out; the boys had explained this before. He would be sure to remember that now that he was part demon himself now.

They heard "Dinner's ready!" and headed down, teasing Adam and bickering playfully together, all laughing now. Brothers now.

After supper they read books, watched tv, and worked on research. Well, Bobby and the others did. Sam and Dean took off in the car, for some private time for the night. They would be back early tomorrow to see Adam off to school, so proud of him they were bursting with it.

Xxxxxxxxxxxx

Sam and Dean barely made it to the room without kissing. They waited until the door was shut and the salt laid, and then tugged their clothes off, mouths still together, not breaking their kiss at any time while they did it. Then Sam pushed Dean to the bed where Dean sucked him hard, moaning softly around him and lay back on the bed, legs spread and looking sinfully tempting to him. Sam worked him open in seconds. Neither felt very patient right now; seeing your lover die before your eyes and bringing him back from Hell yourself does that to a man. Sam thrust in and they made love. Then they rested and kissed softly, cuddling into each other. Then they made love again, taking turns claiming each other until they were spent and cuddled finally, content and reassured the other one wasn't going anywhere ever again.

Dean held out a silver ring, the twin to the one he wore. Sam let Dean slip it on his finger and place that final claim on him, kissing Dean's. He had bought that for Dean when they were kids, his secret way of claiming his brother without Dean knowing it. "I claimed you as mine when I gave you this, Dean. It was my secret claim, you see. Now, you've claimed me the same way."

Dean smiled at Sam's words, blushing. "I thought that might have been the case when you gave it to me but I didn't dare hope, so I pretended it was just another gift. It didn't feel like just another gift though, it felt like more that that, you know?" He sighed and pulled Sam closer, "I should have said something when we were younger. We would have been a lot happier, Dad wouldn't have been, but we could have left him, went out on our own, been together. If I hadn't been such a coward."

Sam smiled up into Dean's eyes and kissed that regret away, "I did it, too, baby. I felt it, thought you might, too. Just chickened out on telling you, thought…well, I didn't want to hunt, still don't really. I figured if I admitted it and we stayed together, we'd end up hunting and I didn't want that, so I ran away. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that. I know I broke your heart, and I know you have been afraid of people leaving you ever since. I just never really left you, Dean, I've always been here," Sam put a hand to his brother's head, "and here." He touched over Dean's heart and kissed there quickly. "You've always been in mine, too. Especially when we were apart. You never really left me either, baby."

"I knew that, I felt that, too. That's why I let you go so easily. I knew you weren't leaving me, you were leaving hunting. You were leaving Dad but never me." Dean said smiling, "Sure I missed you terribly but I never once thought you abandoned me. Dad created that particular fear, not you. You didn't break my heart, Sam. You made me proud."

"I didn't? I was so afraid I had. It hurt to leave you, Dean. It really did, but I had to." Sam said softly and Dean kissed him, kissed his regrets away also.

"I know it hurt and I knew why you did it. I loved you so much for trying for a normal life, Sam, admired that in you. I never had that urge or the chance for it but you did and I wanted you to have everything your heart desired, even if that wasn't with me." Dean said, playing fingers through Sam's pretty hair, so soft and sexy smelling now. Sam smelled of sweat and their sex, and Dean loved that smell, his 'Sammy' smell.

"It was always with you, Dean. You just weren't there at the time." Sam said softly and smiled, "We're together now; that's what counts."

"You said you didn't want to hunt, even now? Is that still true?" Dean asked concerned, Sam was hunting against his will? For him? Why would he do that?

"Yes, it's true. I never wanted to hunt. I liked the research part, but not the killing, the constant threat of death and danger, the diner food, the motel rooms. I craved a somewhat normal life, not that life, but you do, so I'll do it too." Sam admitted sadly.

"No, I don't. I haven't since I almost lost you in Cold Oak. I swore I'd quit after that. Then got pulled back in with Azazel, the gate, going to Hell , then was going to quit again. Just be with you, happy and together, like we were supposed to be. But then the angel crap hit the fan and the vessel crap came up, we were so busy trying to stop Lucifer and Michael, well, we couldn't quit then, even though I was already tired of hunting long before then." Dean pulled him tighter and sighed, "I don't want to hunt anymore either, Sam. Let's quit."

"Yes, we quit hunting as of now." Sam promised, happiness filling him. He had Dean and Adam, they had a family with Bobby, and they never had to hunt again. These things pleased him immensely and he cried tears of joy.

"What's wrong, Sam?" Dean asked wiping the tears that flowed from his supposedly very happy brother's eyes. He was confused.

"Nothing. Just getting everything I ever wanted. So damn happy I can't help but cry." Sam admitted and sighed, "Never thought I'd get this." He said this softly and Dean leaned in and kissed him hard, wiping his tears away, Dean's tears joining his now.

"Me either, Sam. Figured I'd be dead by now." Dean admitted, he hadn't planned to live long, Hunters didn't, as a rule. Hunting gets them killed eventually.

"Well, we did that, several times actually. Now we get this. We get our happily-ever-after. Went through a lot of pain and supernatural crap, but we finally got it. We got our happily-ever-after and we're going to keep it." Sam vowed and they nodded together happily.

They drifted off the sleep that way, filled with hope and relishing the chance at a halfway normal life now. Working with Bobby, spending time with their family, and just being together for the rest of their lives.

"I love you, Sam." Dean said smiling as he fell asleep finally.

"I love you, too, Dean." Sam said and fell asleep too.

xxxxxxxxxxxx


End file.
